PCBgogo

That does look pretty sensible. Comments on substitutions can help a lot of the board assembly house is doing parts sourcing for you.
But the one thing you really don't want in a BOM is to have multiple lines for the same part. The five 10K resistors should all be in the same line, there designators stuffed into one box and a quantity column added to indicate there are 5 of them. Similar for not fitted components, they should normally not be present on the BOM, we have our PCB tools mark the non placed components with a red X on the assembly drawing.
Another tip about BOMs is to use your PCB tool to automatically generate them without any manual editing. Not only is manual editing BOMs time consuming but its also error prone. I also like to include extra columns from my PCB tools such as the footprint name because footprints in description are error prone too (You change the resistors footprint but forget to fix the description).
In general the assembly house likely won't complain about your BOM being shit, they just might be a bit annoyed by having to clean it up themselves and you might get an extra question or so, but the guys at your assembly place will certainly appreciate clean and concise documentation as it makes there life easier.